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Break Your Heart Until It Opens
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Was trying to tell myself I just had a mean case of the Monday blues. For the last... I don’t know how many Mondays. And I was sitting in my car tears welling up just feeling so unaligned and so tired and so out of sorts w myself. ⁣ ⁣ somewhere along the line I started letting go of my song... a little at a time. Distancing myself from the pain of the vision of the way I thought it would all look and so busy w other parts of life. ⁣ ⁣ And now I find myself so far removed. ⁣ ⁣ Even when I write or sing now, it’s for a job or to sell a song ... ⁣(which is good too of course - don’t get me wrong universe ;).) ⁣ I haven’t written or said my truth it feels like - in so long. And maybe that’s bigger than just music. ⁣ ⁣ It’s unsustainable of course. We start to crack. The light sleeps through as Cohen so beautiful has said. And today I’m cracking. ⁣ ⁣ Yes I’m a new mom and I pour myself into the growth and process and the human gorgeous gift of the experience of that journey. And also there are other parts of me I have been avoiding ... ⁣ ⁣ Today it feel like I can’t go another moment without Saying what I mean. Singing what I mean. And sharing it no matter who’s listening. ⁣ ⁣ And also of course it’s painful. And hard to come up against these truths. And honestly, to even find and locate them sometimes. But I’m gonna try.

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